The Cardigan Assassin

 

I’m in Human Resources – I’m a ‘people person’

I wear a permanent smile, my demeanour never worsens

You may meet me when your manager’s cross

I’m a sympathetic ear when you’ve upset the boss

You can say how you feel, but there may be a cost

I’m a Cardigan Assassin

 

I’m in Human Resources – I’m on a decent salary

I keep notes on the staff in a file I call ‘The Rogues Gallery’

I can smile at your jokes and understand your pain

Tell me how much it hurts and you’ll be right as rain

But work’ll never feel quite the same again

I’m a Cardigan Assassin

 

I’m in Human Resources – with the Organisation

At Appraisal time, you can share your job frustration

Whatever we discuss, I’ll show empathy

With an understanding smile and some nice hot tea

Just relax and say what’s on your mind to me

I’m a Cardigan Assassin

 

I’m in Human Resources – would you like a tissue?

I can see you’re upset, but we must address the issue

You say your Supervisor’s got a down on you

But she can’t run her office just to please the few

At the end of the day she’s got a job to do

I’m a Cardigan Assassin

  

I’m in Human Resources – in the Workplace Environment

If you’re really not happy, there’s always early retirement

You don’t need this stress with what you’ve been through

Somewhere on my desk I’ve got a form for you

Now who do you want at your leaving do?

I’m a Cardigan Assassin.

 

(with thanks to ‘C’ for the analogy/title)

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